We're back again... and as I mentioned in a comment, my break was not what I expected it would be. You know how sometimes we like to predict what is going to happen? That's kind of what I did before leaving. I predicted that I would have a quiet little retreat because everybody I would go with would be busy skiing or doing some snow sport. Because of TM I have very weak legs and just walking is difficult. I also don't have good balance... I just thought I would have a lot of time to be alone and read and pray and just enjoy nature which I love to do.... I also asked my husband if he could get me one of those little sleighs so I could go up and down the hill... just looked like a lot of fun. But... it seems the Lord had other plans for me. On our first day there my husband, in-laws and I went down to one of the ski villages to rent some skis. I went in the store with them and the lady assumed I was going to ski too so she got me some shoes and skis. My husband told her I had never skiied before so she adviced him on what kind of skis would be good for me, and where to ski...
right. I just stood there and thought I would go with the flow... even if it's just to pose for a picture. Then we left and went to the place she suggested... I put my very heavy shoes on, walked a little bit (felt like a Transformer) and when I got on the snow they put on my skis and that was the end and the beginning of it. My mother-in-law, who is very optimistic and kind, stayed with me and taught me how to stand on them; move a little bit to the front and side to side... the rest of the day she spent picking me off the floor. There was almost no one around until this group of militaries came to practise a bit. It was really exhausting for me but after a little lunch break they suggested I try the
platter pull which is used to pull you up hill. I'm not very good at saying no, and even when I do say no I'm not very effective somehow, so off I went to the "
tire-fesses". It was all planned. My father-in-law went up ahead to wait for me at the top of the hill, my husband would take the one after me to make sure I get there... and my mother in law superviced the operation... So I hold on to this thing and when it pulled me I was succesful for,
oh about...
3m!!! I fell, was still hooked to this thing that just kept dragging me, and dragging me. I looked back and both my husband and mother-in-law yelled something... either
"Let go!" or "
Don't let go!".... So I keep dragging for another while and look back again at them, and again they yell something with the military guys now stretching their necks from behind to not miss the action, and I thought "
I don't know what they are saying, but I'm going to try to get this thing off". So after much pulling I got hooked off and my husband took one of the pull things to get to me and help me up. I think the first thing he said was
"Wow, you did great for the first 10 meters!" Ofcourse I had been dragged for about 100 meter, but ok. Then he went to get my father-in-law who was still waiting for me. I was so tired and still in shock and I told my mother-in-law that I was tired and that I didn't think it was a sport for disabled people. It was something for
normal people and I just cried in frustration... but she looked me straight in the eyes and told me that I was not right, that it was difficult for everybody, and that I was doing very well for my first day. We then went to the car and we talked and she comforted me and told me that they still had to get to know me better and I had to teach them all about how I feel and what I can or cannot do. I was really down and tired and I started to miss my family. When we got back home I went straight to bed and just felt sorry for myself and I missed my family because they know me so well. They were with me every step when I got sick and my dad would have known how to help me, my brother would have known how to encourage me.... but then I thought...
"No, you must give thanks and praise God. Look where you are!" And then thoughts of being paralyzed ran through my mind, being told I would not ever walk again, remembering what a miracle it was the day I could move my toes and feet just a little bit, and I got up raised my hands and praised God. Thanks to Him I can walk again; never mind the disabilities, I was on
SKIS! Thanks to Him I have a loving family that saw me through my illness; thanks to God I have a great new family that also loves me and they all want to learn all about me. May all I do and all that happens to me be to the glory of God.
Since we had to leave kind of early that morning I didn't have a chance to read all my Bible chapters for the day, so afterwards I took the time to finish reading. The Gospel chapter I was to read for that day was about Jesus walking on the water. Then Peter too wanted to walk to Jesus and he walked on the water until he saw the wind and was afraid... and started to sink... but Jesus reached out his hand and caught him! I thought... I too was kind of walking on water... frozen water, and I got all scared when I was being dragged, but the point is that Jesus is there to reach out to us when we fear... we can always remember that. Even when we are sinking or sliding in my case, there is hope.
That was my first day of this quiet peacefull retreat I thought I was going to have... I skiied every single day after that and thanks to my in-laws, husband and two nice teachers that taught me for two days I got better and better at it... and really enjoyed it, praise God.
I took a few pictures and my husband also took some pictures. I will try to post some soon as I'm not home right now. I don't know if sharing any of this can be an encouragement to anyone. All I know is that I can tell you that I once was indeed paralyzed, I could not move or feel my legs, I could not control my back and all that comes with being paralyzed. I was told I would never walk again but today Thanks to God I can plan to share some pictures with you of me on skis. Glory be to Him who makes all things possible.
My husband told me that he couldn't wait to read my next post, to which I said "
But I'm here, you can just talk to me!" But no, he wants to read a post. So let me take the opportunity to thank him too because he was
SUPER!Thank you for your patience, love, hugs and kindness... for wanting to help me ski, encouraging me, believing in me when I didn't believe it was possible, for pushing me but not really pushing me... your big smiles, your
bêtises... you are the sweetest man I know.
There is no better remedy to a broken spirit than lifting your hands and praising the Lord for all that He has given us.
Pictures to come!