"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."
2 John 1:6
It's the last day of the month, and I'm happy that even though these last three days have made this month seem like a very long one God has shown His faithfullness to me yet again. These last few days I have struggled with anger and I have been depressed. It was a new sort of experience for me, because eventhough I know what I believe about life and death, and eventhough I know the Lord is here for me, I have been feeling so helpless when it comes to how others think. Anger and sadness was not what was worrying me actually, but the lack of love and peace I was feeling in my heart. I was angry at my colleague for making this choice and at the other people I work with. How could they think this way and be this way? But, I also knew that if there was no love and peace in my heart, it wasn't so much their fault, but my own really. We are told to love, so, that means that it is active and I can make a choice to love. I wish I could say that I have just made the choice to love and this gave me peace... but it didn't really go that way. I have been so exhausted these last days because I'm tired of thinking, of not sleeping or eating well these last two days, of not having peace or knowing what to do, and of not being able to love. I wanted so much to be in touch with Vicky... my colleague, and hold her hand and walk her through this, but she had let us know that she didn't want to be in touch or see anyone. But, I just prayed and told the Lord that I really wanted to send her an SMS (mobile message) and let her know that I have been thinking and praying for her. So I sent it and about 20 minutes later I got a reply from her. She thanked me for my message and apologized for not answering my e-mail. She told me that she was now going to a better place and hoped to maybe see me there one day. I wasn't expecting to hear from her at all, let alone talk about life after death, so you can imagine my surprise. I just had to cry again, thank the Lord for the message, but I was also pretty much begging the Lord to not let her go this way. Not this way, but ultimately let "Your" will be done Lord. I have just finished sending her an e-mail. I thanked her for her message and I also shared a bit more with her and gave her some verses on Jesus, the gift of eternal life, on death, on paradise, on trusting God. I also told her that I hoped to see her again some day. I wonder what April is going to be like, but as I continue in this walk and I keep experiencing new things no matter where or what I hope I will also keep growing in love. Love truly is the greatest thing.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13