¨When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." Deuteronomy 20:1
When you go out to battle and you see that your enemy is greater than you... don't turn around and run away... no, the LORD your GOD is with you! Do I believe God is with me... yes I do! Why? I believe in Him. I used to have a quote, by Lewis, on a folder back in high-school that said... "I believe in God like I believe the sun has risen. Not because I see it, but because by it I see it all." I believe the Lord has opened my eyes to His truths, and I want to keep tasting and seeing more of Him. See... the world can say to me: "Depend on no-one but yourself. Believe in yourself! Be your own god! If you are nervous, take action! take a pill!" I could have indeed done that... but you see... I believe in this incredible God who has done extraordinary things... I chose to depend on the Lord, because I know that by doing so, He can do extraordinary things... that I could never manage to do in my own strength. Does it make me lose my identity, do I become a no-one... no, not at all... I'm unique, and my story is mine... that's what I also find so beautiful... when I meet other Christians I love to ask them about what the Lord has been doing in their lives, because they have such a unique story! Back to Deuteronomy....
"...Hear, O Israel, ye approach this day unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them; For the LORD your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you." Deut 20:3-4
I don't have to tremble, or faint, or be terrified... because God goes with me and He will fight for me... to save me. Speaking of pills... I don't have anything against some medications... in my case I know that for my anxiety I could have been given some because it was almost unbearable, but... taking them would go against my own personal belief that the Lord IS my strength and I do not have to fear. Please understand that this is the way I chose to walk with the Lord... To win a battle you had to have chariots and horses and weapons... the more the better of course. Even in these days of war it's clear that the bigger and more equipped your army is, the more of a chance you have to win the war. But Psalms 20 says... " Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalm 20:7
There is nothing wrong with horses... with strength. There is nothing wrong with good health, or good foreign language skills... these can be good things to fight a battle with, if you will, but don't depend on them to be your strength, don't think that unless you have them you can win a battle... if you don't have them, like me, it's ok. God is with us :)
So, ok Jimena, that's all nice and all... but how did it go? Well... after praying with my friend, I also shared a bit with my youngest brother, who reminded me of this poem he likes, "Footsteps in the sand"... the one where during the difficult parts there is only one pair of footsteps walking... If you don't know the poem please go here :), if you do know it... then you can understand that I knew it was time to take Jesus on a walk. If I wouldn't be able to walk, He would. And off I went... feeling much better. :)