Trains, horses and taking Jesus to Nice

I hope everybody has had a good and blessed weekend. I've had quite an eventful one that I will not forget soon. I was finally able to do something I hadn't done since I moved to France. I took the train to Nice.... alone! I have to go to Nice to get some paper work done at the Dutch embassy. I had hoped that Raphael would be able to go with me to take the train for the first time, as I was really clueless as how to do this, but he works and the embassy is only open in the mornings. Besides that he was sure I would be able to take the train with no problem. I was used to taking trains in Holland and according to him it's the same thing. Well... I wasn't so sure about that... and knowing I had to do this had me feeling very anxious for a long long time. So Friday he reminded me that I had to get this done and how there was nothing to worry about... how it was really quite simple... but somehow his comforting words did not comfort me at all. For some odd reason I had fear that was beyond my understanding. It was unreasonable because why should I be scared? What was I so afraid of?... I couldn't come up with a good reason. My feelings of fear were so strong though that it was even making me cry... then out of the blue a friend calls to say something about the Bible study we are having at home, and in asking me how things were I shared about how I was planning to make this solo trip and it scared me, and what bothered me was that I didn't know why I was so scared... then my friend told me that I actually had good reason to be afraid... in fact, I had three things against me! This was a surprise to me, three things? What could they be? Well... my friend went on to share that first of all: I didn't speak the language well, and even for someone (my friend) that had been living in France before and spoke the language well (translator) it was still difficult. Secondly, France is completely different from Holland. I still cannot situate myself very well anywhere on the coast, things just appear much more complicated when you don't know where you are, things can even be complicated to those who have been living here longer than myself. Thirdly... I have a walking disability. It is not easy to get around, especially when I constantly have to look down to not trip over anything, and that as I have a neurological problem, my legs are very very sensitive to my emotions/feelings. If I'm nervous, my legs also get nervous and they either tremble or just appear to be loosing strength, which makes me even more nervous, which then goes back to my legs... and so on. So, according to my friend I did have good reason to feel as I did, it wouldn't be normal to feel otherwise.... and you know, that made me feel so much better. Why?... well simply because I know Someone who is very very good at handling difficult situations. See, if I have to depend on my own strength to do things, I know I will faint, I will go weary, I will age a hundred years... BUT... you know how I mentioned Deuteronomy 20 before? The chapter I said I like to read with a Scottish accent? Let me just share two verses with you.

¨When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." Deuteronomy 20:1

When you go out to battle and you see that your enemy is greater than you... don't turn around and run away... no, the LORD your GOD is with you! Do I believe God is with me... yes I do! Why? I believe in Him. I used to have a quote, by Lewis, on a folder back in high-school that said... "I believe in God like I believe the sun has risen. Not because I see it, but because by it I see it all." I believe the Lord has opened my eyes to His truths, and I want to keep tasting and seeing more of Him. See... the world can say to me: "Depend on no-one but yourself. Believe in yourself! Be your own god! If you are nervous, take action! take a pill!" I could have indeed done that... but you see... I believe in this incredible God who has done extraordinary things... I chose to depend on the Lord, because I know that by doing so, He can do extraordinary things... that I could never manage to do in my own strength. Does it make me lose my identity, do I become a no-one... no, not at all... I'm unique, and my story is mine... that's what I also find so beautiful... when I meet other Christians I love to ask them about what the Lord has been doing in their lives, because they have such a unique story! Back to Deuteronomy....

"...Hear, O Israel, ye approach this day unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them; For the LORD your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you." Deut 20:3-4

I don't have to tremble, or faint, or be terrified... because God goes with me and He will fight for me... to save me. Speaking of pills... I don't have anything against some medications... in my case I know that for my anxiety I could have been given some because it was almost unbearable, but... taking them would go against my own personal belief that the Lord IS my strength and I do not have to fear. Please understand that this is the way I chose to walk with the Lord... To win a battle you had to have chariots and horses and weapons... the more the better of course. Even in these days of war it's clear that the bigger and more equipped your army is, the more of a chance you have to win the war. But Psalms 20 says... " Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." Psalm 20:7

There is nothing wrong with horses... with strength. There is nothing wrong with good health, or good foreign language skills... these can be good things to fight a battle with, if you will, but don't depend on them to be your strength, don't think that unless you have them you can win a battle... if you don't have them, like me, it's ok. God is with us :)

So, ok Jimena, that's all nice and all... but how did it go? Well... after praying with my friend, I also shared a bit with my youngest brother, who reminded me of this poem he likes, "Footsteps in the sand"... the one where during the difficult parts there is only one pair of footsteps walking... If you don't know the poem please go here :), if you do know it... then you can understand that I knew it was time to take Jesus on a walk. If I wouldn't be able to walk, He would. And off I went... feeling much better. :)

Bus I took to the train station in Cannes

Waiting in line to get my ticket...

My ticket!

At one of the stops...

Some people waiting for a train...

People walking by ... I like the reflection of the guy in the corner

At Nice! Seeing my train continue to Italy...

"Nice Ville" Station

Outside...

Not sure what this was about, but the man was playing lovely French music :)

There was a free photo exhibition about women right next to the station.

Walking around looking for the embassy...

I ever found a Christian Bookstore.

walking, walking...

Pretty pink building...

Le Mozart...

YAY!!!

Green...

Going back home... on the train :)

"We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God..." Psalm 20:5