Consider the flowers

Today was a great day; the kids were amazing. Actually, I knew it would be a good day as soon as I saw one of the little boys come in. He's one of my special needs children and last week he wasn't talking at all, and he was very sad and didn't want to play much. I was wondering if maybe he was just too sensitive to what was going on, but today he had a big smile and talked all day. I thought I would just write a bit about Saturday. On Saturday was Vicky's cremation ceremony. I was asked recently what people here in Holland believe about life after death. I can't generalize, but it's been my experience that most people don't really believe in God or life after death. There are some Christians and there are also some people who believe in the cycle of life for example... I've been explained that there is this cycle where your dead body goes through it's process and becomes food for plants or animals, and so forth... so part of you ends up in a flower, tree... or river. But then, even though a lot of people talked during the ceremony nobody mentioned where Vicky's body would probably end up. Nobody even thought of her as being dead. Her daughter mentioned how she was somewhere away on vacation, the others also talked about how she was on a long trip, and one said she was sleeping... Vicky also left a note that was read at the end. She thanked everybody for all they did and meant to her. She said she wished she could have had the opportunity to thank everybody personally, and also told us to look to the back.... so we all turned around, and after a long pause everybody laughed as she had just made her last joke and fooled us all. I don't remember but I think she mentioned she was going to a better place.

The ceremony wasn't religious in anyway... but it does raise a lot of spiritual questions. You could ask..."What happens when she wakes up, if you say she is sleeping?" or, "What happens when the vacation is over?", "How long is this long trip going to be?" - There were over 300 people. I was trying to sort of blend in and push my tears back as most people did, but... at the end, when we were asked to walk by Vicky, I followed the crowed, and then I went to where her daughter and husband were. Most people gave a hand so I also went to do so, but the girl got up and hugged me, and then I gave her husband a hand and he said "Thank you." Then... I saw my colleagues and I told one of them I needed a hug and just cried. Everybody else seemed to be calm, and they weren't crying as bad as I was. Her daughter was as cool as a cucumber, her husband's eyes were all red and watery, but I think... maybe I just felt something else. After I got home I got a message from my boss telling me that Vicky's husband had invited us all to a pub for a drink. I know it sounds bad to some of you, but for some reason it didn't sound so bad to me as I wanted to go back and be with them. I thought he had just invited a few people and I wanted to be part of it. So, I walked to the pub which is close by. There were tons of people, the music was loud, it was smoky, and there wasn't anyone from work. People saw me walk in so I thought it wouldn't be polite to turn around and leave which is what I felt like doing... so, I greeted some people and then I thought I would drink something and leave. Her husband also saw me and asked if I wanted something to drink, so I told him I was just going to the bar to get something. I sat at the bar looking around. Nobody seemed sad, because we weren't there to mourn, we were there to celebrate Vicky. As I looked around all I could think was "Drink and be Merry, for Tomorrow we Die." That's just what I was reading in their faces. All those nice "long trip" and sleeping stories are fine and all for a memorial service, but we all know that we die... and that's it! When I had drank half of my beverage some of my colleagues came and I stayed to talk to them. Most were making toasts to Vicky and talking about work. Then a very nice thing happened. Vicky's husband came up to me, and thanked me for my e-mails. He said they were appreciated by Vicky. He didn't know if Vicky had replied, but he had read them all and wanted to thank me for them. I think maybe he felt something in his heart. I don't know, but for that short time it seemed as if we were having a simple, sincere conversation in a quiet garden. Then my colleagues left and I actually stayed... well, see, I was talking to my boss who was very talkative so I figured I should stay with her until she began to sing and I didn't know the songs. When I was about to leave I went to say bye to Vicky's husband, and he thanked me again for coming and asked if I was going to keep writing e-mails. I was a bit surprised but I told him that I would if he would read them. He said he would.

I really want to encourage everybody to always share and share whatever it is the Lord puts in your heart. Because one time a friend shared with me what he heard from a pastor, then I shared that with Vicky on my last e-mail to her, and when she called the school the day before she died she shared what I had told her with another colleague, who then shared it with me. This is almost perfect expect that I'm human and in my excitement I forgot to be humble and I said..."Oh, that's what I told her in my e-mail!!!!" That was dumb... but do share!

I would also encourage you to pray for us, even if you don't know them, even if you don't know me. I don't know that I can or am always willing to share in my heart, but I do know that we all need to know of the great hope that we have in Jesus Christ. That we don't have to just eat, drink and be merry in our flesh because there is nothing more to life. There is more to life, and I dare say that if we all look within we would also think so.

"In Hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began..."
Titus 1:2

By the way, the pictures are of two beautiful bouquets my mom and I got. My mom works with flowers and sometimes she is gets beautiful bouquet's like these. I got the pink one!!! :D